I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
