there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize