New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
