No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
