Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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