Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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