I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
