why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
