he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
