I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
