You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
