remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
