garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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