shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
