I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
