ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
a search helicopter?!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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