I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
