We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was born a porn star she said
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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