This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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