He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
