Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
