I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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