I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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