Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
