That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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