forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize