do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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