I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
