I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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