Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
