Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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