I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
