I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
