You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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