Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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