Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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