Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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