I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
