Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
