well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
