I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize