So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
