Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
