Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
