Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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