You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Did I show you my penis last night?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
