Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
