He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
