I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We need to get me chipped asap
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
