why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
