and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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