I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You're earring is so big in my mouth
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
