you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
