Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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