I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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