coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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