i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
pop tarts are not kleenex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
