conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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