Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
