I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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