I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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