I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Randomize
