He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
