someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
