I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A bitchslap is in order.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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