used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I AM VODKA MAN
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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