i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
