Betty ford says i'm here all night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
