he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
