i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
