you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
