it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
